TUXEDO JUNCTION
Choosing the Right Men's Formal Wear
by Ima Taylor
Because the clothing for the groom and his attendants must be coordinated with the bride's gown and her attendants' dresses, the choice
of formal wear for the men is necessarily put off for a while when planning a wedding. However, this should never be left for a last minute
decision. This can lead to availability problems in both style and size at the rental outlet and can, in some cases, even force a groom to
buy a tux to get the style you want.
More and more men are actually buying their tuxes these days. This is a fine idea for those of you with an active social calendar which
includes many formal affairs. But for the majority of men, one seldom wears a tux. (In fact, many men only wear one once in their entire lives
- on their wedding day!) And so for probably 95% of all grooms, rental is the way to go. Which means, almost everyone is looking to rent for
their wedding and selection can get pretty slim, especially during peak wedding times (the Spring, New Years Eve, etc.) and especially during
the Spring, there's a lot of extra demand for an competition to rent from the teenagers during prom season.
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CHOOSING THE RIGHT TUXEDO
Because the tuxedo must be coordinated with the wedding gown, we must wait until we've settled on the dress before beginning the hunt for
the right tux. However, it is recommended that you begin your search immediately after ordering your wedding gown. Carry a picture of the
gown with you when shopping and a swatch of the cloth if possible. Style is all in coordination. For example, if you'll be wearing your grandmother's
wedding gown, then you'll be needing an "old fashioned" look for the groom: Are tails available? Are top hats too much or just right?
(Representatives of the men's formal wear industry recommend that you begin shopping for the tuxedos up to six months before the wedding,
with three months as an absolute minimum amount of time for a successful search. That tells you when the bride needs to have chosen her gown
and attendants' clothing - if that's not done, some prodding or another course of action might be called for.)
Something which must be fully discussed right away is whether or not the groom will feel comfortable in the chosen style. I know this is
the age of enlightenment, but when men get together, tuxedos are still almost universally described as "monkey suits" or "penguin
suits". Let's face it - many (if not most) men really don't like to dress up! Remember, this is the most important day of HIS life, too,
and comfort and confidence must definitely be considered.
One way around coordinating everyone is to select a basic "classic" tuxedo (suit-styled with black or color coordinated satin
trim) and use accessories to achieve the desired look. These accessories can include shirts, vests, cumberbunds or belts, ties/ascots/scarves,
gloves, handkerchiefs, flowers and jewelry (cufflinks, studs, etc.). On a basic white, grey or black tux, anything goes color-wise so you'll
have many, many options.
WHO WEARS A TUX
Depending on just how formal an affair you're planning, any number of male guests and attendants may be required to wear a tux.
For an informal setting, just the groom or the groom and best man will be in tuxedos.
For semi-formal, the entire wedding party, including all the ushers, the father of the bride (or whoever is "giving her away"),
and the ring bearer should wear a tux.
For a truly formal affair, everyone of importance in the wedding party and the family should be in a tuxedo. This includes, besides the
groom and best man, all ushers and groomsmen, ring bearer, fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, brothers, etc. In other words, anyone who's
being formally presented as an honored guest at your ceremony and reception.
It is particularly important to start shopping early for a large wedding party of this kind because the rental shop may actually have to
order some sizes or more suits in your chosen style. You'll also have a lot more fittings to take care of and a lot more pickups and returns
to coordinate.
It is therefore imperative that you coordinate as many members of the wedding party who'll be in tuxes in getting to the rental shop and/or
tailor, preferably all together or in another organized manner. In the case of an out of town member who will not be available until shortly
before the wedding day, is is important to get their exact sizes (including, don't forget, shoe size!) to you provider as early as possible.
It is actually recommended that the out-of-towner's measurements be taken by a professional tailor and shoe salesperson. This will give your
local shop unquestionably accurate information and enable you to provide a perfect fit for your incoming guest.
WHO PAYS FOR THE TUXES
The rule of thumb is that each male member of a wedding party (or extended wedding party) pays for his own formal wear. The choice to rent
or buy is left to the dicretion of each participant.
Often, the groom will pay for the best man's rental (or vice versa) as a gesture of friendship and/or thanks. It is now often the case that
the cost of the tux is offered in lieu of a gift between the groom and best man, eliminating the time and expense of trying to find a suitable,
more personalized gift.
We should mention, of course, that even in the most traditional setting where the "father of the bride" (mother, father, parents,
family) is paying for the entire wedding, the tuxedo rental is not considered part of the package. The men's formal wear is always covered
by the groom, best man, his family, or the individual members of the wedding party, never by the family of the bride.
The average cost of a tuxedo rental these days is in the $100.00 range, which, up from $50-$75 in just the last few years, makes it an item
for which planning could be necessary when budgeting your wedding. (Think about it this way - groom, best man, the fathers, four ushers, a
ring bearer, and one grandfather and you'd be talking about $1000.00! It adds up quickly.)
WHEN DO WE PICKUP THE TUXES
It is really important to make arrangements for everyone to have their tuxedos 2 or 3 days before the wedding. This allows for any last
minute changes, additions and alterations without last minute scrambling. Even after final fittings, things can go wrong. You don't want a
member of your wedding party discovering his tux doesn't fit as he's dressing for the ceremony!
RETURNING THE SUITS
Each member of the wedding party should return his tux (or make plans to have someone else return it) on the first business day after the
wedding. In the case of the groom's tux, it is traditional that the best man takes care of the return.
If you follow these simple suggestions, you can rest assured that getting the tuxedos for your wedding will be a simple and painless part
of your wedding preparations and that your prince will look - and feel! - his best on your most important day.
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